<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I Put A Spell On You by TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582478">I Put A Spell On You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow/pseuds/TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow'>TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gotham (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Canon Gay Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Humor, Love, M/M, Magic, Slow Burn, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:07:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow/pseuds/TheOnlyUsernameThatWasNotTaken_UntilNow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Gotham x Harry Potter crossover you never knew you needed.</p><p>Featuring<br/>Oswald Cobblepot as grumpy Potions teacher, who hates children with a passion and takes pride in being the Hogwarts staff member with the worst reputation amongst students,<br/>Edward Nygma as flamboyant DADA teacher with a tendency to drama and extravagant robes as well as an obsessive liking of riddles (and perhaps one Oswald Cobblepot),<br/>Jim Gordon as Hogwarts' infamous Quidditch Coach, who has his mind set on sports and a certain school nurse,<br/>Leslie Thompkins as said school nurse,<br/>Barbara Kean as Transfiguration teacher, who is still not over the father of her girls (who just happens to be one James Gordon, oops!),<br/>Bruce Wayne as 7th grader and Gryffindor student, who is as oblivious as always when it comes to his crush and<br/>Selina Kyle as 7th grader and Slytherin student, who has set her mind on figuring out the love life of her head of house.</p><p>Also featuring<br/>Gertrud Kapelput as Divination teacher,<br/>Harvey Bullock as Care of Magical Creatures teacher,<br/>Ivy Pepper as Herbology teacher,<br/>Theo Galavan as headmaster and<br/>Jervis Tetch as creepy housemaster.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Kean/Jim Gordon (past), Jim Gordon/Leslie Thompkins, Nygmobblepot - Relationship, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Welcome to Hogwarts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Remember when we had the Sorting Hat on our heads, all those years ago?”<br/>
Bruce voiced from his seat at the Gryffindor table, observing the sorting ceremony with a sinking feeling of melancholy that seemed to intensify with each passing year that his graduation drew closer.<br/>
This time next year would be the last evening he’d get to witness the newbies getting sorted into the four houses of Hogwarts. The sorting ceremony was one of the main events of the whole school year, pupils of all ages looking forward to it, be it because of the bets that were placed on certain students being sorted into certain houses or  because of the delicious food being served and the over-all festive atmosphere.<br/>
“I do remember it quite clearly. Especially the smell of the Sorting Hat. It was kind of stinky.” Selina commented in a way that was so typical Selina, that it put an involuntary smile on his lips.<br/>
“Hello to you too!” he said, when she gestured him to move over and took a seat to his left, wedged between a happily grinning Bruce and a not so amused-looking fellow Gryffindor.<br/>
“If you do remember the ceremony, I’m sure you are also aware of the fact that you are currently sitting at the wrong house table.”<br/>
“I’m aware of that, thanks for the reminder. Do you want me to go back?” she asked, her unruly curls bouncing, as she nodded in the direction of the Slytherin house table.<br/>
“No, you may stay.”<br/>
“Well, thank you, your Highness.” she said, pressing her hand over her heart and over-exaggeratingly batting her eyelashes, pretending to be flattered.<br/>
They both fell silent, when the Sorting Hat announced that one Tabitha Gordon would join the house of Hufflepuff.<br/>
“Oh shit, I lost ten bucks to Silver St. Cloud.” Selina lamented, taking a casual sip from Bruce’s cup. “I was so sure she’d get sorted into Gryffindor.”<br/>
“You’re placing bets?!” Bruce asked, scandalized that his best friend had seemingly joined in in such uncultured activities.<br/>
“Sure I do. It’s a good way to earn money.”<br/>
“Or lose it.”<br/>
“Or lose it, right. Never mind though, I’ll just steal it back.” Selina shrugged, leaving Bruce even more scandalized.<br/>
“You cannot… you… Selina, if you need money, you’ve just got to ask, you know…”<br/>
Bruce instantly regretted the words once they had left his mouth, even more so, when he saw the deadpan expression on Selina’s face, the darkness behind her green eyes that showed exactly why she had been sorted into Slytherin.<br/>
“You may be a billionaire, Bruce Wayne, sitting on a fortune your dead parents left you, but that doesn’t make me your charity case or you my sugar daddy. Are we clear?”<br/>
“Very.”<br/>
“Good.”<br/>
And just like that the clouds evaporated, her gaze softened and she smiled at him, her typical, tight-lipped smile in place and not for the first time Bruce wondered, what was really going on behind those magnificent eyes of hers.<br/>
“Anyway, why would you think that this… girl… Tamara… would be sorted into Gryffindor?” he asked, trying to break the tense silence that had settled between them.<br/>
“Tabitha. Gordon? I know you’re not taking part in any kind of extracurricular activities having to do with sports, but the name should still ring some bells.”<br/>
“Gordon? As in James Gordon? Our Quidditch coach?”<br/>
“Bingo!” Selina slapped him on the shoulder, causing him to unceremoniously bump into the fellow Gryffindor seated to his right. ‘Sorry’, he mouthed, earning a good-natured eye-roll from the red-head.<br/>
“She’s Captain Gordon’s daughter? Didn’t know he had another one besides Barbara.”<br/>
“Yeah, obviously he did. And guess who her mother is?”<br/>
“I don’t know.” Bruce sat up straight to get a better look at Tabitha Gordon, who had long since taken a seat at the Hufflepuff table.<br/>
Her light brown hair and plump, child-like features certainly didn’t give away her mother’s identity.<br/>
“None other than Professor Kean. They’ve got another child together, that we didn’t know about! Can you imagine?!” Selina whisper-shouted.<br/>
Bruce hadn’t been aware that she was that much into gossip. To his utmost shame he had to confess that he himself felt intrigued by the illustrious affair/love story between their Transfiguration teacher and Quidditch coach.<br/>
“They are not a couple though, are they?”<br/>
He let his eyes wander to the teacher’s table, where he found Barbara Kean, observing her younger daughter with a fond smile on her face. He noticed that she had cut her hair even shorter over the summer and had more eyeliner applied around her eyes, what made her look more fierce than ever.<br/>
“Nah, don’t think so. From what I’ve gathered he has his eyes on Dr. Thompkins. You know, the school nurse.”<br/>
If there was any truth to that rumor, Bruce could see why Captain Gordon had developed a crush on Leslie Thompkins. He had to admit that she was pretty hot and if she had been a few years closer to his age he might have even tried hitting her up. At least that’s what he told himself. The truth was, Bruce, awkward as he was, couldn’t flirt if his life depended on it. While his classmates seemed to break their bones on purpose just to get into the hospital wing, Bruce always stuck to admiring girls from afar. Selina was the only exception to the rule and sometimes he wasn’t sure if Selina, being more boy than girl, even counted.<br/>
“I’m just so glad that our teachers are young and kind of cool. Imagine having McGonagall teaching you in Transfiguration. That old bat sure had a reputation!” Selina said, seemingly having similar thoughts running through her head.<br/>
“Indeed. Tough I wouldn’t exactly call Professor Kapelput young.” Bruce replied, his voice hushed, head lowered to his empty plate.<br/>
“I wouldn’t exactly call Professor Kapelput a teacher. Divination is just a massive load of bullshit, I can't believe it’s still a subject on today’s curriculum.”<br/>
“Oh my god, keep your voice down, will you?!” Bruce whisper-shouted, his voice edging on slightly hysterical. “If Cobblepot hears you, we are dead.”<br/>
“I have the great fortune to have him as head of house, Bruce. He wouldn’t deduct points from his own house. He’s way too competitive for that.”<br/>
Knowing Professor Cobblepot by heart after all those years of him teaching Potions Bruce seriously doubted that.<br/>
He didn’t dare look up at the teacher’s table, let alone in the direction of Professor Cobblepot, afraid to see those piercing blue, calculating eyes watching him, questioning his motives for meeting his gaze.<br/>
“But it’s his MUM, Selina!” he gritted through his teeth, trying to make his best friend see reason.<br/>
Selina pulled a face, obviously mulling over his words.<br/>
“You’re right, he would deduct points from his own house, if we said anything bad about his mum in front of him. He’s a mommy’s boy after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Said mommy’s boy was currently sitting at the teacher’s table, having been placed between Ivy Pepper, who had been teaching Herbology for the last two years, and James Gordon, Hogwarts’ infamous Quidditch coach.<br/>
Oswald Cobblepot let out a silent sigh and took a sip from his wine glass, regretting that he had already emptied it halfway throughout the disturbingly boring sorting ceremony. He couldn’t care less about which brat got sorted into this or that house, it didn’t make any difference to him. No matter the house, they were still kids after all and if there was one thing Oswald hated, it were kids. Not that he would tell his mother that.<br/>
His beloved mother, who was seated a few places to his right, watching the sorting ceremony with wide, curious eyes and eagerly clapping along every time one of the “little angels”, as she used to refer to the newbies, got sorted into Slytherin, her favorite house since her son had become head of it.<br/>
For a few short seconds their eyes met and Gertrud Kapelput smiled, a dazzling smile she had reserved only for him. A smile, that never failed to warm Oswald’s heart and that he unfortunately only ever received from his own mother.<br/>
Oswald managed a tight-lipped smile of his own in return, swallowing the wine in his mouth and trying not to dwell on the fact that his mother really was the only person that loved him unconditionally despite his many flaws and him having disappointed her on so many levels throughout his life.<br/>
He sighed again, staring into his rapidly emptying wine glass and was inwardly shocked, when he realized that his sighs hadn’t been as quiet as he had thought.<br/>
“Having a hard day?” James Gordon asked, trying to make polite conversation and from the look on his face very obviously giving a fuck whether Oswald was having a hard day or not.<br/>
Oswald bit down a snarky reply and chose to avoid the question by asking one himself.<br/>
“So your girl is in Hogwarts now?”<br/>
“Both of them! Barbara junior is in her seventh school year, already nearing graduation, and now Tabby’s also in Hogwarts. Still can’t believe it, to be honest. I can remember the day I had her in my arms for the first time. She was a sweet kid, still is. Very calm and compassionate. I’m not surprised that she got sorted into Hufflepuff. Her mother and I did something right with her.”<br/>
Oswald couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that.<br/>
“Maybe it’s time for another <em>bundle of joy.</em>” he replied, his voice dripping sarcasm. “I’m sure Barbara would be up for it, if you just ask nicely.”<br/>
The frown line that seemed to be perpetually carved into James Gordon’s forehead deepened, the only indication of his irritation.<br/>
“Nah, me and Barbara, we’re history.”<br/>
Oswald gave an unattractive snort into his wine glass.<br/>
“I bet that’s what you said after the first one, old friend. And yet, six years later you were back at it.”<br/>
“Does your investment in my love life have anything to do with the blatant lack of your own?” James wanted to know, the distaste that Oswald had gotten quite used to over the years, seeping into his tone.<br/>
It were not the words that stung the most, it was the truth behind them.<br/>
Oswald busied himself with his wine glass, turning it between his slender fingers, avoiding the thought that despite his thirty-four years of age he was still single as can be. Gosh, he hadn’t even had his first kiss yet! Not that he hadn’t wanted to – he had certainly had his eyes on one man or the other over the years – but nobody had ever shown any interest in him.<br/>
Being gay and closeted was obstructive in finding your one true love, being gay, closeted and not even remotely attractive made that task nearly impossible.<br/>
Oswald was under no illusion regarding his looks. He was aware of his beak-like nose, the shaggy black hair that he either styled into bangs or messy spikes – recently he preferred to style it both ways at the same time – and his pale skin that made him look permanently sick. Not to mention the limp that he got, when he was accidentally (or maybe not so accidentally) hit by a curse all those years ago. A curse that had left his right kneecap shattered, with no potion or counter-spell to cure it. The only thing Oswald found attractive about himself were his bright-blue eyes that he therefor liked to outline with eyeliner and mascara, even though he knew his mother was not very fond of that look (“You’re so handsome, Oswald, such a handsome boy, why do you deface yourself by wearing that nasty stuff?”) .<br/>
At that moment he tried to pierce one of the pupils below them with the intensity of his stare. If looks could kill, Bruce Wayne, who happened to be at the receiving end of Oswald’s gaze, would drop to the floor a dead man.<br/>
Bruce Wayne, god, he disliked that kid in particular. The way he moved around the castle like he owned the place. With the amount of money his parents had left him after their tragic passing, he probably did.<br/>
Oswald observed the boy’s posture, the way he sat there, hunched over, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, seemingly even ignoring Selina Kyle who was sitting at the Gryffindor house table – for whatever reason. He narrowed his eyes at them, trying to figure out their latest scam. They were certainly up to no good. Oswald made a mental note to draw points from Gryffindor when the opportunity presented itself. How he detested children…<br/>
Oswald Cobblepot was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard loud clapping and noticed that Jervis Tetch, Hogwarts’ rhyming housemaster, who also happened to have some kind of inexplicable clock fetish, carried the Sorting Hat away, no doubt mumbling rhymes under his breath. <br/>
<em>Freak.</em><br/>
Headmaster Galavan got to his feet, raised his glass and started his annual speech, one that always tended to get too dissolute and way too boring to listen to, seeing as Theo Galavan was one of those people who massively enjoyed hearing themselves talk. Oswald marveled at the way his dark brown, heavily gelled back hair shone in the flickering lights of the candles above, wondering what kind of hair product he used. He made a mental note to make his inquiries when he was summoned to the headmaster’s office next time.<br/>
The speech went on and on and both students and staff were getting noticeably restless, the only exception being Gertrud Kapelput, who was hanging on headmaster Galavan’s every words, listening in very closely as if he was explaining nothing less important than the meaning of life itself.<br/>
„…So if any of you require help, no matter what kind of, we are here for you. Here in Hogwarts, we’re family. Don’t hesitate to talk to your prefects, talk to your head of house-“<br/>
<em>Don’t you dare.</em><br/>
„Talk to your teachers, talk to me. Our doors are always open. And that brings me right to the next point.“<br/>
Oswald sincerely hoped the next point would be dinner, so that he could get a refill on the wine.<br/>
„The staff.“<br/>
Again he sighed and drowned his regret in a sip of alcohol, which got him a wary look from James Gordon.<br/>
„This year I’d like to welcome an exceptionally talented, aspiring wizard to our teaching staff. Please give a warm welcome to Professor Edward Nygma, our latest addition and Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher.“<br/>
Like the rest of the staff and students Oswald Cobblepot followed headmaster Galavan’s lead and gave a polite, though not very enthusiastic clap.<br/>
He couldn’t care less about having a new teacher colleague. Either this Nygma guy would have enough brains to avoid him or he’d be a complete dimwit like Ivy Pepper and therefor get avoided by Oswald himself.<br/>
A tall, skinny figure at the far right of the table rose to its feet and Oswald Cobblepot was not sure what about professor Edward Nygma’s appearance offended him the most, the strikingly green robes that enveloped his body or his impossibly wide smile that seemed to show nothing but teeth.<br/>
<em>Oh my god, </em> he thought, trying to take another sip of his wine, until noticing that the glass was empty.<br/>
„Would you like to address a few words to your students and colleagues, professor?“ Theo Galavan offered, clearly reluctant to let someone interrupt his well-practiced speech.<br/>
Edward Nygma gave a slight nod, clearing his throat and straightening his robes at the front. The way he deliberately took his time to pick up the glass in front of him showed just how much he enjoyed everyone’s attention.<br/>
„The less of me you have, the more I am worth. What am I?“ he finally said, his voice steady and sure, the gaze behind dark rimmed glasses betraying his excitement about presenting his audience with a riddle.<br/>
Stunned silence followed.<br/>
Confused glances were cast around and hushed whispers made it clear as day, that nobody knew what to make of their new professor and his more than peculiar way of introducing himself.<br/>
Oswald noticed Edward Nygma becoming slightly fidgety, when several seconds passed without anyone coming up with the solution or even attempting to do so, the smile on his angular face wavering.<br/>
„Friends.“ he blurted out, before he was able to stop himself.<br/>
<em> Well, shit. </em><br/>
Edward Nygma turned, smart gaze fixed on him and Oswald felt goosebumps rising on his skin.<br/>
„Correct.“ he said, giving Oswald a thumbs up.<br/>
And just like that the beaming smile was back on his face, perhaps even more blinding than before and Oswald was left with the question if the man, who was currently starring at him with unabashed fondness, consisted of anything other than legs and teeth.<br/>
He didn’t notice the observant look James Gordon shot him and didn’t hear his mum gushing about how clever her darling son was.<br/>
„The answer is friends. I’d like to make a toast to that.“ Nygma said, raising his glass, his eyes never leaving Oswald, who pinched the bridge of his crooked nose, trying desperately not to feel hopelessly endeared by the handsome dork that went by the name of Edward Nygma.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter...</p><p>If you notice any grammar mistakes, please let me know, so that I can correct them (I'm not a native speaker, so please don't be too harsh with me! 😅)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Let's bet on it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edward Nygma enjoyed teaching. Massively so. Teaching gave him the platform he needed to shine, to show off his many talents and never ending amount of knowledge. Also because of their own limited life experience children and teenagers were by far easier to impress than any adult audience. <br/>Ed found himself talking – some might call it rambling – about his various publications, especially his much touted essay on the Patronus Charm, that was printed in the renowned “DADA Chronicles” and that he therefor felt particularly proud of. Not being someone to show modesty, he prided himself on being one of the few wizards being able to conjure a Patronus themselves and promised his class to show them his extraordinary skills at a later date. He specifically had the last lesson before summer holidays in mind to end the school year with a bang. <br/>Edward noticed the lack of enthusiasm coming from his students, but purposely chose to ignore it. Obviously they were just too intimidated by his mere presence to express their true amazement. <br/>He shot the girl sitting in the last row wearing Slytherin robes and sporting a head full of bouncy curls at shoulder-length a reassuring smile, trying to bring the message across that he was just a human-being like the rest of them. <br/><em>No need to be star-struck.</em><br/>In reply she merely rolled her eyes at him and returned to doodling in her notebook.  <br/><em>Huh.</em><br/>Ed shook his head in mild confusion. <br/>He’d have to analyze her reaction in the evening, when he had time to mull over the happenings of the day and review his own performance in front of the student body. <br/>     “Well, concerning your assignments for next week-“ <br/>He wanted to wrap the lesson up, but was interrupted by the ringing of the bell, signaling the end of class.    <br/>     “Wow, time sure flies by when you’re having fun!” Edward marveled, a bit at loss upon realizing that he wouldn’t have enough time to give his homework instructions, considering that most of the students were already in the process of packing up and paying him no more mind. <br/>     “Fun… Right…” he heard someone say, sarcasm heavy in their voice, but couldn’t make out who or where the words had come from.  <br/>     “If a hen and a half lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will half a dozen hens lay in half a dozen days?” <br/>     “Pardon?” a gangly boy with short and messy dark brown curls spoke up, confusion clearly written on his face as well as on the faces of those who had still been paying attention. <br/>Ed identified him as Bruce Wayne, of course he did, because who didn’t know the name and face of one Bruce Wayne, billionaire heir and possibly Hogwarts’ most famous student.<br/>     “It’s a riddle”, Edward Nygma proudly explained, feeling his chest swell with pride at the fact that he had come up with it himself. “The solution to it plus an added zero at the end result in the first page of the chapter I want you to read through for next lesson.” <br/>     “You want us to… solve a riddle in order to know what chapter to prepare?! Are you kidding me?! What kind of shitty, unorthodox teaching method is that?!” the girl in the back, the one that had previously rolled her eyes at him, snapped, looking like she was not only done with him, but with life itself.  <br/>Edward Nygma visibly deflated. <br/>He had been mulling over the best ways to keep his students entertained and interested in the subject he would be teaching for days, had been worrying about ways to motivate them to do their assignments and had finally come to the conclusion that riddles were the way to go. Who didn’t feel drawn to a good riddle after all?<br/>     “I… I thought…” he stammered, feeling insecure and tongue-tied for the first time since he had arrived at Hogwarts. <br/>He felt out of his depths, totally not prepared to handle a situation like this. Out of all possible scenarios he had played out in his head, the students questioning his teaching methods hadn’t been one of them.<br/>     “Twenty points from Slytherin.”, a stern voice came to his rescue from the entryway, stone cold as the expression of the man himself.<br/>Edward Nygma stared at the other in wonder. <br/>Oswald Cobblepot’s hair was styled into messy spikes, blue eyes darkly rimmed and spitting venom. He looked positively livid and oh so handsome. <br/>Ed tried to hide the blush blossoming on his cheeks by inspecting the textbook in front of him, the one that he had memorized at the age of fifteen. <br/>     “Oh, you heard me right, Ms. Kyle. I’d suggest not to argue with my decision, unless you want to be the reason your house loses even more points for disrespecting a teacher. And this time I’d have to draw forty of them since you’d be disrespecting your very own Head of House.” <br/>The silence that followed indicated that he had indeed successfully managed to shut the girl – Ms. Kyle – up for good. <br/>Edward fondly smiled down at the textbook in his hands. <br/>     “Are you trying to come up with excuses for your class to not do their assignments? You’ll be their new favorite teacher in no time, Mr. Nygma.” <br/>He shyly looked up to see Oswald Cobblepot limping up to him.  <br/>     “It’s Edward. And I wouldn’t be able to take your place as their favorite teacher if I handed out good grades for free…” <br/>Oswald’s laugh had a bitter edge to it. <br/>     “Believe me, I’m nobody’s favorite… Edward.”  <br/>     “Their loss…” he replied and wasn’t sure who felt more embarrassed by those words leaving his mouth, Oswald or Ed himself. <br/>By the looks of it the answer to that question would have been Oswald, if his red tinted cheeks and ears as well as the way he avoided Edward’s gaze were anything to go by. <br/>The man in front of him cleared his throat and shot Bruce Wayne, one of the last students still lingering about, a scathing look, one that made the poor boy take to his heels. <br/>     “Twenty points from Gryffindor for running on school corridors, Mr. Wayne.”, he snapped, stormy eyes following his retreating figure.  <br/>     “He wasn’t running… just walking fast and technically he was not on the corridor but still in the classroom.”, Ms. Kyle voiced from her new position by the entryway, seemingly having learned nothing from her previous admonition. <br/>Oswald turned around agonizingly slow.<br/>     “Yeah, I get it, none of my business!” the girl hastily backtracked, after receiving what Edward could only assume must have been a particularly nasty sneer.<br/>     “I’m… uhm... I didn’t get the chance to thank you for solving my riddle the other night. After the Sorting Ceremony, I mean… It would have been kind of awkward if nobody had come up with the solution, so, thanks for saving me the embarrassment.”, he babbled, trying to avert Oswald’s attention from the Slytherin student.<br/>He was torn between feeling sorry for Ms. Kyle, who continued to land on the receiving end of Oswald Cobblepot’s heated glares and feeling a tiny bit envious, because deep down he was very well aware that he craved nothing more than being the center of the smaller man’s attention. <br/>     “You’re welcome.” – Oswald gave him a tight-lipped smile, some of the anger he must have felt due to Ms. Kyle’s behavior still visible in his eyes – “However if I were you, I’d cut back on the riddles. Not everyone is as fond of or as good at solving them as you seem to be.” <br/>     “Do you like riddles?”    <br/>Oswald seemed to hesitate for a few short seconds. <br/>     “Not particularly, no.” <br/>Edward couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment at that, wishing that he had just lied to him like most people did when presented with the same question. His emotions must have clearly shown on his face, because Oswald’s gaze visibly softened as it swept over his features.  <br/>     “They are very… you though. That’s kind of a good thing, I guess…” <br/>Ed couldn’t remember having blushed so hard in his entire life. He awkwardly cleared his throat, rubbing his left hand over the back of his neck, trying to dissipate the tension that had started to build there. 	<br/>     “Mr. Cobblepot –“<br/>     “Oh please, call me Oswald.”<br/>     “Oswald-“ – he cautiously tried the name out, enjoying the way it smoothly rolled right of his tongue, how it sounded coming from his mouth and noticing how Oswald appeared visibly flustered, eyes fixed on Edward’s lips  – “What is it that I can help you with?” <br/>     “Uhm?!” Oswald shook himself out of his stupor, looking confused.<br/>     “When you came to me after period I assumed that there was something you wanted from me?”   <br/>     “Oh…” – he watched as the other’s eyes suddenly widened – “Oh!”<br/>Oswald fidgeted, shifting his weight from one leg to the other and flinching when he put too much pressure on his bad one. Edward desperately wanted to reach out for him, steady him, but didn’t dare to, afraid that the contact of their bodies would be too intimate for Ed to handle. <br/>     “I… uhm… Nothing really, I was just… around and thought about checking you… I mean, checking how you were holding up. Turned out you desperately needed my help.” <br/>He laughed, somehow sounding out of breath.  <br/>     “Take my advice, friend, next time you give your class an assignment, avoid the riddles. Just tell them straightforward what you expect them to do. And if you can’t help it, <em>Riddler</em>,-“ – Edward felt goosebumps rising on his skin, he liked that nickname (he <em>really</em> liked it!) – “then you should at least give them a reason to try to come up with the right solution by drawing points if they fail.”   <br/>     “I’ll keep that in mind…” he mumbled, still feeling overwhelmed by the force of nature Oswald Cobblepot happened to be.<br/>     “You better! Because otherwise students like Selina Kyle will eat you alive.” <br/>Edward felt like he was already being eaten alive, not by Selina Kyle though but by something other, something residing deep inside his guts, that slowly wormed its way towards the surface, spreading heat throughout his body, leaving Ed Nygma hot and bothered. When he looked at Oswald and gazed into those sharp, intelligent eyes, the feeling only intensified tenfold. <br/>     “Thanks…” he replied and it came out just as breathless as Oswald had sounded only moments ago. <br/>     “Anything for a friend.”  <br/>They quietly stared at each other for a few long seconds before Oswald finally broke the eye contact, opting to examine the floor instead. <br/>     “Well, I better get going. See you around, Edward.” he bid him farewell, turning on the spot and limping towards the entrance without a further glance back.  <br/>Oswald was already halfway through the room, when Edward finally managed to croak a throaty goodbye of his own. <br/>     “Oh and by the way,” – Oswald did turn around abruptly and without warning, catching Edward looking at his ass a bit too intensely to be considered appropriate, nearly sending the other into a panic frenzy – “I will give my house a subtle hint that it would be wise to read through chapter 21 starting from page 240 in preparation for their next DADA lesson.” <br/>Oswald looked incredibly smug at the dumbstruck expression on Edward’s face, giving a slight wave and possibly swaying his hips a little more than strictly necessary on his way out. <br/>Ed Nygma still stood there watching the entrance, even when Oswald was long since gone. <br/>And if he was sporting a raging hard on, well, that was nobody else’s business. <br/>Because if there was anything that did turn Edward Nygma on more than shorter men with piercing blue eyes, grungy black hair and a nice ass clad in well-fitting robes than it was a shorter man with  piercing blue eyes, grungy black hair and a nice ass clad in well-fitting robes that was able to solve his riddles.</p><p> </p><p>     “What <em>the hell</em> was that?!”, Selina hissed, dragging a stumbling Bruce, who was having trouble keeping up with the fast pace, with her.<br/>     “Drawing points from his own house?! Over literally nothing?!”<br/>     “Well, to be fair, your comment towards Professor Nygma was kind of rude…” Bruce tried to reason, which earned him a hard glare through squinted eyes from his best friend.<br/>     “Whose side are you on anyway?” <br/>     “Yours. Always yours!” <br/>Placated she reached for some of the textbooks Bruce was currently struggling with. In his rush to leave he hadn’t been able to pack his school supplies away. <br/>     “Here, let me help you with these.” <br/>     “Thanks.” he replied, feeling relieved when he felt the weight in his arms lighten. <br/>     “Whatever. That’s the first time I’ve seen Cobblepot draw points from Slytherin. Gosh, and it wasn’t even for insulting his mother! Really, I don’t get it. Why would he do that?!”<br/>     “Maybe he was feeling sorry for the new teacher.” he offered, shrugging dismissively.<br/>Selina gave a snort that other people might have found unattractive, but that made Bruce Wayne smile nonetheless.<br/>     “He’s never felt sorry for anyone other than himself. No, there has to be another reason for why he…” – Selina came to a sudden halt, tightening her grip on Bruce’s upper arm, which caused him to come to an abrupt stop himself. <br/>     “What is it now?!” he sighed. <br/>Honestly, questioning Oswald Cobblepot’s moods was not on top of his list of priorities right now. After all their Potions teacher was known to have mood swings like a pregnant woman (not that anyone would have dared saying that to his face!). So what if he was having a particularly bad day and randomly decided to draw points from his own house? <br/>     “What if it’s not pity he’s feeling towards Nygma? What if it’s something else entirely?!”  <br/>     “And what feeling would that be?” he asked, because – knowing Selina – he was supposed to be asking that very same question.<br/>Selina grinned like a Cheshire cat, excitement taking over her entire face. Instead of answering she formed a heart with the help of both of her hands, nearly dropping Bruce’s books to the ground. <br/>     “You mean…?!” he stuttered, feeling dumbstruck.<br/>     “What if he fancies Nygma?” <br/>Professor Cobblepot fancying Professor Nygma? That sounded kind of far-fetched and also a little bit bizarre.<br/>     “Nah…” – he was quick to dismiss the idea, before his mind could come up with any unwanted pictures of their teachers being all loved up – “That would require Cobblepot being gay and he’s never shown any interest in men so far.” <br/>    “He’s never shown any interest in anyone so far.” Selina countered, not so easily giving up on her conviction, now that she had made up her mind on Oswald Cobblepot being very much into Edward Nygma. <br/>     “There you go. Maybe he’s just not into… the sexual stuff. He doesn’t strike me as a person who willingly seeks out closeness to another person.” <br/>Selina rolled her eyes at him.<br/>     “Just because he’s not wearing his heart on a sleeve, doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to others, Bruce. Come on, first he solves Nygma’s riddle during the Sorting Ceremony and now he suddenly shows up to defend his honor after class? You have to admit that his behavior is a tad bit fishy.”<br/>     “Yeah, well, I still don’t believe it.” <br/>Selina seemed too smug for his liking. <br/>     “Want to bet on it?” she asked, daring him with a challenging look.<br/>     “You’re very much into the whole betting business, aren’t you?” <br/>     “Can’t resist a good bet, especially if I’m about to win.” she grinned, giving him a cheeky wink, that made something inside his chest flutter. <br/>     “It’s on.” he agreed, partly because he was unable to deny her the joy, partly because he himself was slowly feeling curious about gaining insight into Professor Cobblepot’s love life that he was so secretive about. <br/>Pleased that she had managed to get Bruce on board, Selina linked arms with her best friend and together they continued their way over the castle’s grounds, heading for their next class, which happened to be Care for Magical Creatures with Professor Bullock. <br/>Selina was in an awfully good mood, humming under her breath and not even trying to hide the newly found spring in her steps. <br/>     “Why are you so sure to win?” Bruce asked, shaking his head over his best friend’s eagerness to prove him wrong.<br/>     “Because I’ve seen the way beanpole looked at my Head of House and I’m quite sure that if there’s one way to win over Cobblepot’s heart, it’s by stroking his ego. If he’s not already into him as it is.”<br/>Bruce sincerely doubted that their Potions master even had a heart to win over, but refrained from voicing his opinion out loud, as his mind was currently focused on something else Selina had mentioned. <br/>     “How…?! What do you even mean?! Cobblepot fancying Nygma is already highly unlikely and now you’re trying to tell me… what? That Nygma fancies him back? You’ve got to be kidding me… Your assumptions are getting more and more absurd.”    <br/>     “Yeah, well, unlike you I’ve got eyes. We was getting all fidgety and blushed like a school girl. Or like Gordon, when Dr. Thompkins winked at him that one time in the hospital wing.” <br/>     “Are you trying to insinuate that our Quidditch coach – probably the manliest man on campus – was acting like a virginal teenage girl?”<br/>     “Not the point, Bruce!” – Selina chided, tugging on the sleeve of her best friend’s robe – “The point is that Nygma had the exact same expression on his face that Mr. Tetch gets, whenever it’s time to set the entirety of the clocks in Hogwarts to summertime and back.”<br/>     “Do you think he gets off on that?” <br/>     “Again, <em>not the point, Bruce</em>! Though I’m nearly as convinced that Tetch masturbates to the thoughts of clocks as Nygma does to the thoughts of Cobblepot.” <br/>     “Ugh…” – Bruce didn’t even try to suppress his shivers, not sure which of the mental images Selina had just given him he found more disturbing. <br/>     “Oh, Brucie, we’re going to give him so much more material to work with!” <br/>Alarm bells went off inside Bruce Wayne’s head, as Selina calling him “Brucie” was never a good sign.<br/>He desperately hoped that she meant providing Tetch with more pocket watches to add to his ever growing clock collection. <br/>However Selina’s wicked grin told him otherwise.<br/>     “Selina, I remember agreeing to bet on Cobblepot’s love life, not to interfere with it!” <br/>     “Oh, we’re not interfering. Just messing with Nygma’s head a little and pushing one of them to make a move. How else do you think we’ll find out whether Cobblepot has the hots for our new DADA teacher or not?”<br/>Bruce couldn’t argue against that.<br/>Or maybe he just couldn’t argue against Selina. <br/>He thought about his housemates playing Quidditch, chatting up girls and drinking butterbeer during Hogsmeade weekends, while he would be helping Selina with playing Cupid and stalking their teachers (one of them being Oswald Cobblepot nonetheless!). <br/>He shook his head, wondering what his life had become and if Alfred, his legal guarding, would approve of it. <br/>     “You’re not a good influence on me, you know?”<br/>Selina merely laughed, her luscious brown curls and pearly white teeth reflecting the sunlight.<br/>     “Oh, Bruce. Trust me, you don’t need a good influence in your life, you have enough of those as it is. What you need is someone to shake it up a little and as it happens, I might be just the right person for that.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Riddle me this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How about that?”<br/>Selina pushed the already crumpled sheet of paper towards Bruce, who had taken a seat right next to her in the very last row of the Transfiguration classroom.  <br/>Usually he preferred sitting in one of the front rows, being a dedicated student and caring about his education just as much as Alfred did. Today though Selina had decided that she needed Bruce right by her side to set the first step of their plan, or “Operation Nygmobblepot” as she had recently started referring to it, into action. <br/>Bruce hated passing on notes under the watchful eyes of Professor Kean, feeling guilty for not paying attention to her demonstration and explication of the Animagus reversal spell. Not one to say no to his best friend though, he pulled the sheet towards himself, reading through the short paragraph written on it in Selina’s scrawly handwriting. <br/>	“Is it too much?” she whispered, leaning into his personal space.<br/>	“Definitely.” – he confirmed – “Reading about someone dreaming to fuck you over the teacher’s desk would certainly creep out anyone. Even Nygma.” <br/>He read through Selina’s very poor attempt at flirting again just to convince himself that it was indeed as bad as it had seemed to him the first time.<br/>	 “Seriously, Selina? Explicitly mentioning the desk in the Potions room? Can you be any more obvious?!” <br/>	“No need to be rude, I get it!” Selina snapped, snatching the paper out of his hands. <br/>	“Make it more… romantic. Bring in feelings and all that.” <br/>	“Romantic, check…” <br/>Bruce watched as Selina nibbled on the end of her quill, deeply in thoughts and very obviously struggling with the element of romance she had to bring into their love letter.<br/>	“Why don’t we make a riddle out of it? He seems to like them well enough.” <br/>Selina’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree and suddenly Bruce remembered why he had agreed on helping her execute Operation Nygmobblepot in the first place. <br/>	“Oh my gosh, that’s it, Bruce! You’re a genius!” she laughed, forgetting that they were in Transfiguration class and supposed to be paying attention.<br/>	“Mr. Wayne, Ms. Kyle, I’m only giving you this one warning. One more word from either of you and you’ll both be getting detention. Separately that is.” – Barbara Kean reprimanded them, trying to hide her fondness behind a strict expression.<br/>Ever since her own girls had reached their teenage years, it had become very clear that she felt way more sympathetic towards the students in her class.<br/>Bruce hung his head in shame, thinking of Alfred’s disappointment if he found out that his protégé had gotten detention during the very first week of school. <br/>	“Psssst… Bruce!” <br/>He made sure that Professor Kean was facing away from them before cautiously glancing over at Selina, who was trying to get his attention back.<br/>	“I can’t come up with a riddle. Do you have any ideas?” <br/>She thrust the sheet of paper back at him, letting him know that she fully intended to let Bruce do the dirty work.  <br/>	“I’ll look one up in the library after class, okay?” <br/>Selina nodded her agreement, seemingly satisfied with the suggestion. <br/>	“Good, but do it quickly. I want to sneak the note into Nygma’s private chamber while he’s down at supper in the Great Hall.”  <br/>Bruce nearly choked on his own spit.<br/>	“You’re… doing <em>what</em>?! Are you out of your mind?! You can’t just break into a teacher’s chamber! If someone caught you, you’d get expelled for sure!” <br/>Upon seeing Selina’s unperturbed expression he tried pursuing a different strategy. <br/>	“Also it’s creepy. What would you think if an unknown person wrote you a love letter and broke into your private rooms to place it on… on your bed or anywhere else? You wouldn’t want him to become afraid of Cobblepot now, would you?” <br/>Those words seemed to hit home, as Selina watched him with a doubtful look on her face. <br/>	“Maybe I should just slide it under his door then?”<br/>Bruce inwardly sighed in relief.<br/>	“Yeah… yeah, that sounds fine.” <br/>Selina nodded, having made up her mind. <br/>	“Good. I’d still like to place it there during dinnertime though. The sooner we set the plan into action the better.”<br/>Bruce decided not to question that. His best friend certainly had her reasons for urging the matter along. <br/>For a few minutes they were quiet, both mulling over their separate thoughts.<br/>	“Bruce, do you think you could come up with a riddle with rhymes in it? I have a feeling that he’d like-“<br/>	“Ms. Kean, I’ve given you a fair warning. That’s twenty points from Slytherin and furthermore detention with Professor Pepper tomorrow evening. Mr. Wayne, the same goes for you. Twenty points from Gryffindor and detention with Professor Nygma tomorrow after classes.”<br/>Bruce couldn’t make up his mind if he ought to be more shocked over the fact that thanks to Selina he’d gotten himself into detention for the first time since attending Hogwarts or that he had cost his house forty points within the first few days of school. <br/>He was torn between Barbara Kean’s scowling expression and that of his best friend, who for whatever reason seemed exhilarated by the prospect of facing detention. <br/>	“Oh, Bruce, that’s like… the opportunity of a lifetime. Sweet Merlin, you’ll be in detention with Nygma. You know what that means, right?” <br/>Bruce didn’t dare answer that question.<br/>Selina voiced his thoughts and fears anyway. <br/>	“You’ll get to grill beanpole very thoroughly on his opinion about Cobblepot. No need to worry, I’ll provide you with the right questions.” <br/>And that’s exactly what worried Bruce the most. </p><p> </p><p>Oswald Cobblepot was on edge. <br/>The day had started out fairly well. <br/>He had woken up with the reminiscent images of one Edward Nygma on his mind and a prominent tenting in his pajama bottoms, which was a very pleasant surprise. Oswald couldn’t even remember the last time he had had such a vivid sexual dream. While he was under no illusion that his silly little crush would get him anywhere near getting laid, he had still savored the little joys of an embarrassingly quick morning wank, leaving him intensely satisfied.<br/>Oswald had still felt relaxed and boneless, when he had wandered off to the Great Hall for breakfast a short time later. He had greeted his beloved mother with a kiss to her cheek and had even felt generous enough to acknowledge Jim Gordon’s presence with a slight nod in his direction. Feeling kind of guilty for the vivid and very explicit images of Edward Nygma running through his head not that long ago, he had purposely avoided looking in the direction of the DADA teacher. <br/>Right until the moment he noticed Edward’s presence directly in front of him.<br/>He couldn’t ignore him after that.<br/>	“Good morning, Professor Co-… <em>Oswald</em>.” – the latest addition to the teaching staff greeted, his voice taking on a sultry tone when it came to pronouncing Oswald’s name. <br/>	“Good morning to you too.” <br/>When their gazes met, he willed himself not to blush. For some reason he imagined to detect a hint of mirth behind those warm brown eyes staring straight at him and briefly wondered, if Edward had had a similarly satisfying morning as he had had himself.  <br/><em>Gosh, don’t even think about that!</em><br/>Fighting back the damn blush was getting more and more difficult. <br/>Oswald’s attention was drawn to a stake of cards in Edward’s hands.  <br/>	“What is that?” – he inquired, searching for a topic – <em>any</em> topic – to fill the awkward silence that had spread between them. <br/>	“That?” – Edward Nygma motioned to the items in question – “Those are the reason I allowed myself to disturb your peaceful breakfast routine. Sorry for that, by the way.” <br/>One of the cards was placed on the table in front of Oswald.<br/>It was a photograph showing the other man in dueling pose with a small, neat signature in the bottom right corner. If Oswald didn’t know any better he would have guessed that Edward Nygma had just handed him an autograph card.<br/>	“Great…” – he said, not sure of what Edward wanted to hear, and shoving the card right back towards the other. <br/>Edward Nygma’s eyes grew wide behind his black-rimmed glasses. <br/>	“Oh no, no, no!” – incredibly long, slender fingers pushed the card back into Oswald’s field of vision – “It’s a gift. For you. I should have probably clarified that sooner.” <br/>Oswald’s disbelieving gaze urged Edward to explain himself further.<br/>	“It’s an autograph card. Of me.” <br/><em>Of course it was.</em><br/>At this point Oswald didn't even question the man's motives of carrying around merchandise of himself - he had given up on figuring out Edward's twisted mind right after he had presented the students with a riddle right after the Sorting Ceremony.<br/>	“I can see that. That doesn’t explain why I’d be in need of an autograph card. Of you.”<br/>Edward blushed an adorable shade of red that somehow complimented his green robes.<br/>	“I… can explain that.”<br/>	“I would hope so.” <br/>	“Well…” <br/>Edward draped himself over the teacher’s table, leaning impossibly closer, invading his personal space and probably unconsciously licking his lips.  Oswald tried his hardest not to stare and come across as a teenage fan girl worth of being gifted a fucking autograph card. <br/>	“I start with the letter e, I end with the letter e. I contain only one letter, yet I am not the letter e. What am I?”<br/>Oswald felt ready to explode and not in the good, orgasmic kind of way.<br/>	“Quit it, Edward! Now is not the time for riddles!”<br/>Edward gave a cute little pout. <br/>	“An envelope. The answer is an envelope. Last night someone placed an envelope containing a letter under the door of my sleeping quarters. It was some sort of… admiration letter, if you will.” <br/>Oswald Cobblepot never wanted to see the blush that only seemed to intensify on Edward Nygma’s face up close. Especially now that he knew that those images of his flushed co-teacher would only provide him with more wanking material in the future, which would consequently lead to more embarrassment between the two of them. <br/>He not so subtly moved his seat back to put more distance between their bodies.<br/>	“It was… kind of sweet, really. Someone even made the effort to present it in form of a rhyming riddle. An easy riddle admittedly, but a riddle nonetheless.”<br/>Edward had started fiddling with his fingers in an either nervous or excited manner. <br/>	“Someone?” – Oswald heard himself say, voice sharper than intended. <br/>He still had to wrap his head around the fact that someone had obviously dared to make a move on Edward. His Edward.<br/><em>He’s not my Edward for fuck’s sake. </em><br/>	“Now that’s the real riddle behind it! The author wanted to stay anonymous. But it wouldn’t be like me to not get to the bottom of it all now, would it? I’ve made my inquiries aaaand…”<br/>Edward fixed him with a knowing gaze that sent goosebumps down his spine.<br/>	“And?!” – he bit back, not even trying to hide his impatience at this point.<br/>	“And I have a suspicion on who might have put the envelope under my door.”<br/><em>Oh god, he can’t think it was me, can he?! </em><br/>Those brown orbs seemed to bore into his own blue ones. <br/>Edward gnawed on his bottom lip as Oswald could feel the tension rising between them, so thick that he probably would have been able to cut it with a knife. <br/>	“Who?” – he asked, voice hoarse and shaking slightly, completely unaware of the curious glances cast their way by the rest of the teaching staff present. <br/>Edward Nygma opened his mouth and Oswald had to fight every urge to not plug his tongue in there and kiss him senseless.  <br/>	“Jervis Tetch!” <br/><em>What?!</em><br/>	“<em>What?!</em>” <br/>	“From what I’ve gathered he has a… weakness for rhymes. Also he seems to be a bit… quirky, so trying to woo me with a riddle just kind of fits, don’t you think?” <br/>Oswald suddenly became aware of how desperately he had hoped for Edward to drop his own name. The disappointment made his stomach churn. And Edward’s suspicion of Jervis Tetch being the one to send him letters was just… ridiculous. There was no other word to describe it.  <br/>	“<em>Friend</em>…” – he started and stopped, trying for a less passionate approach and failing miserably – “Look, I have known Tetch for a few years and if there’s one thing I can guarantee you it is that Jervis Tetch has never tried – wrong – has never even <em>thought about</em> wooing someone in his whole life.” <br/>	“So you don’t think it was him?”<br/>Edward was eying him, a thoughtful look on his face. <br/>	“That’s exactly what I’m trying to say, yes.” <br/>The other man made a non-committal sound that could have meant anything, all the while observing Oswald as if he was trying to figure him out.<br/>	“Be glad, Tetch is an utter creep. Unless you would have liked to receive an… admiration letter from him specifically that is...” – Oswald stated, busying himself with filling his plate with pancakes. <br/>The silence that followed his comment seemed to last for ages. <br/>Oswald didn’t dare to look up, feeling incredibly vulnerable all of a sudden.<br/>	“No. I would have very much liked to receive it from someone else. But I guess that’s just wishful thinking.” - he gave an exaggerated sigh that made Oswald roll his eyes. <br/>Of course Edward would have set his eyes on someone within the first week of arriving at Hogwarts. <br/>Probably Dr. Lee Thompkins, because who didn’t try to get in her pants, he thought grimly. <br/>	“That still doesn’t explain the autograph card though.” – he snapped, unable to hide his irritation. <br/>	“Oh right! Well, in case my assumptions were wrong and it was in fact not Jervis-..." - <em>Oh, they are on first name basis now, are they?! </em>- "...I decided to hand out cards to every staff member. I hoped that my secret admirer might take it as a gesture of appreciation.“ <br/>“You handed them out to the whole staff?!”<br/>A quick glance down the teacher’s table confirmed his apprehension. Jim next to him was inspecting his own card with a wary look on his face while not so discreetly eavesdropping on their conversation. <br/>Hell, even Headmaster Galavan hadn’t been spared from Edward’s overambitious plan to gift literally everyone with his autograph cards. <br/>	“I signed them all by myself. Took me the whole night.” – Edward proudly stated, seemingly unaware of the look of horror on Oswald’s face. <br/>Oswald Cobblepot felt like clapping his hands over his head. <br/>	“Have you ever taken into consideration that your secret admirer might not be a staff member at all? That it might be one of your students?”<br/><em>One of your students very likely taking the piss out of you?!</em><br/>He decided that he would have to draw more points from students who dared to just look at Edward Nygma the wrong way. Gosh, the man needed his protection even more than his own mother. <br/>Edward’s mouth dropped open in pure shock.<br/>	“Fuck…” – he cursed and Oswald had never been turned on more in his entire life by someone’s cursing. <br/><em>Me please.</em><br/>	“You’re so right… The students! It could have been anyone of them!” <br/>Oswald felt incapable of doing anything other than look after the man, who had turned on his heels and fled with flying robes, no doubt on his way to his sleeping quarters to sign a few more of his ridiculous autograph cards before first period.  <br/>	“Oswald… I’ll… see you around, I guess!” – Edward shouted over his shoulder, turning around while speed-walking out of the Great Hall, nearly tumbling over his own cloak in the process and causing snickers among the student body. <br/><em>Jesus fucking Christ.</em><br/>He pushed the autograph card to the side, making a mental note to not forget to take it with him after he had finished breakfast. Edward Nygma did look quite handsome on it after all. <br/>Completely lost in his own thoughts that were mainly spinning around Edward, Ed’s attractive features, his adorable dorkiness and the mysterious letter he had received, he didn’t hear his mother sneaking up on him from behind.<br/>He nearly shot up from his seat in shock, when Gertrud Kapelput laid a hand on his shoulder. <br/>	“He is a very handsome fellow, this Professor Nygma. <em>Very</em> handsome. So tall and good looking. Do you think he also has autograph cards with other motives?”<br/><em>Oh, sweet Jesus.</em><br/>Oswald tried very hard to keep his cool. <br/>	“I’ll ask him, Mother.” <br/>And while his mother - whom he had never thought of being capable of acting like a fangirl towards any other person than her own son - gushed about Oswald being the best boy she could have wished for, he thought about what his life had become.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>